I agree, the best way to deal with a Pluto issue is to do what Pluto ISNT good at...that's sharing.
I, too, am in a heavily Plutonian relationship
(Sun,Moon, Mercury, Pluto in Scorpio...and Pluto in the 1st house etc.), besides being heavily Plutonian myself...
There has to be an equal distribution of power and that has to be clear. You don't want to get into THOSE kind of power struggles, trust me. They're nasty, and usually can be easily avoided (and btw, i mean N A S T Y )
Don't risk the relationship because of power issues, I almost did that and continue to almost do that because I myself am learning the lesson of control.
What i've learned is that Pluto energy works both ways. I'll give you a personal example...
As I said, I myself am heavily Plutonian and my god, I'll admit, I have extreme power trip issues. I can't be in relationships where I don't have teh upper hand and so I choose "push over", or "weaker" and more "passive" mates who pretty much let me sweeten them, charm them and yet boss them around.
My current boyfriend is a Sag, he's verrrry lenient when it comes to this. He always steps over to the side when I get into my moods and try and lay down the rules but it doesn't go away...that Pluto power is still seething somewhere within him because if it's in a relatio ship chart then in my opinion BOTH parties experience the issue, just in different ways. Anyway, my boyfriend seethes. He won't say much, but he boils over inside until when he does say something it's insanely explosive to the point where it's EMOTIONALLY violent. It feels like the world has not just crumbled beneath my feet but has combusted within a huge explosion and i'm sinking farther and farther away. And the worse part is that it doesn't stop there....Yeah, it can get that bad. And this is with anyone.
All I'm saying is that, you don't want to be in his place because granted, you'll be the one with the upper hand THEN but at the same time, do you want to have to keep all of that turmoil and stress inside? Imagine what that must feel like. I think you two should have a heart-to-heart about it...it the relationship is worth it and has potential, then it will work itself out...